How many times have we been told that communication is key? It's key on the job, abroad, and within the home. There is no area in our lives that cannot benefit from proper communication. That being said, the dynamic between male and female communication is complex to say the least. Not to say that the roles aren't sometimes reversed; men can be quite abstract in their interpretation of things, while women at times tend to take things for their literal meaning. This brings me to the topic of acting out of obligation.
Obligation~ something by which a person is bound or obliged to do certain things, and which arises out of a sense of duty or results from custom, law, etc.
2. an indebtedness
3. a favor, service, or benefit for which gratitude is due
When speaking about obligation I often think of moral, financial, and career responsibilities. For instance, you are obligated to provide proper care for your children and to show up to work on time. When looked at from that perspective it makes it hard to view obligation as anything other than something you are required to do. This viewpoint almost makes obligation seem like a bad word. No one wants to feel like they are being forced to do anything. In my opinion my fiance does not open the car door out of a sense of indebtedness, it is because he wants to. You cooking dinner for your boyfriend/husband is not because you owe him a favor.
Wherein a female may choose another word, men probably view obligation as, "take care of me because you love me" versus "do things because you owe me." My point is that lapses in communication take place all of the time. Men and women naturally view things differently, however we are obligated in our relationships to keep the line of communication open even when we disagree on the semantics.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Stay Tuned...
It's been a while since I've last connected with you, but as you know life happens. Sometimes it happens faster than we like, which is my case. Despite this I'm back and ready to discuss some good topics that are bound to get the dialogue going. With all that's occurred in 2010 I know we will have a good time ushering in 2011. As always be blessed!
Ms. Ty
Ms. Ty
Monday, February 15, 2010
He Loves Me He Loves Me Not
Valentines Day...flowers, jewelry, candy and maybe even a car! So, does that mean he loves you any more?
I've read anti-Valentine Facebook posts and had several conversations about the "day of love." To my amazement there are a lot of people who do not support or believe in the holiday, my boyfriend is one. His logic and the logic of others is this...why put emphasis on buying things, showing love, on one designated day; when you should be doing this year round. I do have to also mention his disdain for the "evil empire Hallmark", whom he believes has set out to capitalize on the holiday. That being said, what do you think?
The history of Valentines Day has nothing to do with love at all. The Valentines were early Christian martyrs from the 1st century. The most notable were a Roman priest and bishop. It was not until the 14th century that romantic elements were introduced. Fast forward to 1847 when the first Valentine cards were created by Esther Howland of Great Britain. What started out as a small card business is now a multi-million dollar machine.
It's nice to receive a thoughtful card, chocolates and jewelry. I'd be lying if I said otherwise; however if one day of love and bliss is all you have during the year then something is wrong. It shouldn't take Valentines Day to hear your significant other say, "I love you and you're the most important person in my life." You shouldn't have to wait for that one day to receive flowers or jewelry. For some, it's the only time of the year that your significant other acknowledges your existence. If this is the case then there is cause for re-evaluation.
Your worth is not tied to a card or a fancy dinner. It is in the things that you do everyday like; your ability to encourage, maintain a household, hold down a job, and keep friendships/relationships in tact. No, I didn't get candy or flowers but the love and support I do get throughout the year mean far more than any material items received on one day!
I've read anti-Valentine Facebook posts and had several conversations about the "day of love." To my amazement there are a lot of people who do not support or believe in the holiday, my boyfriend is one. His logic and the logic of others is this...why put emphasis on buying things, showing love, on one designated day; when you should be doing this year round. I do have to also mention his disdain for the "evil empire Hallmark", whom he believes has set out to capitalize on the holiday. That being said, what do you think?
The history of Valentines Day has nothing to do with love at all. The Valentines were early Christian martyrs from the 1st century. The most notable were a Roman priest and bishop. It was not until the 14th century that romantic elements were introduced. Fast forward to 1847 when the first Valentine cards were created by Esther Howland of Great Britain. What started out as a small card business is now a multi-million dollar machine.
It's nice to receive a thoughtful card, chocolates and jewelry. I'd be lying if I said otherwise; however if one day of love and bliss is all you have during the year then something is wrong. It shouldn't take Valentines Day to hear your significant other say, "I love you and you're the most important person in my life." You shouldn't have to wait for that one day to receive flowers or jewelry. For some, it's the only time of the year that your significant other acknowledges your existence. If this is the case then there is cause for re-evaluation.
Your worth is not tied to a card or a fancy dinner. It is in the things that you do everyday like; your ability to encourage, maintain a household, hold down a job, and keep friendships/relationships in tact. No, I didn't get candy or flowers but the love and support I do get throughout the year mean far more than any material items received on one day!
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