...And Why Are You So Mad?

"Always demand respect; if you carry yourself with respect a bum cursing on the street will honor that. Don't allow anyone to talk to or treat you any kind of way regardless of their status or title." - C. Farmer (mom)


The Past:

Black women for generations have been the backbone of their communities and families. During slavery, when black men were sold off to other plantations or killed, it was the female who was left to look after the family. For years black women were subjected to the dismantling of their families (via internal and external circumstances), suffered abuse and rape; sometimes by their own family members. It is strength and resolve that have aided in the endurance of these situations. Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth and Rosa Parks are women who exemplified strength and went on to become some of the most notable women in history. This in totality is our legacy.

Perception, Perception, Perception:

I've discussed this topic with friends several times and our opinions are typically the same. More recently a male friend, in response to a story I told, said "don’t go ABW on them." I think the heart of the matter is purely about respect. If a black woman feels like her boss, son/daughter, husband, or whoever else is being disrespectful they dish out a tongue lashing. Being a black woman I empathize with, as well as, admonish this response. I also understand that at times demanding respect can be mistaken for anger; other times ignorance and plain nastiness is the culprit. Ensuring that you are heard and standing up for yourself is not a showing of anger. Though, if this is accompanied by the infamous neck roll and teeth sucking, parodied in movies, it will be taken as such. I recognize there are those of us who like to use this ideology as an intimidation tactic...i.e. no one wants to piss off the one black woman in the office. That being said I think most would like to be known as a woman just like any other; who may have her highs and lows. That doesn't mean we haven't inherited a little bit of sass from Big Momma or Auntie, it just means we know when to check it at the door. As I stated before, a lot of how one reacts and deals with issues has more to do with personal experience than race. It is when you feed into the stigma that it becomes a reality.

As always be blessed and Happy New Year!