In discussing this topic, I'm reminded of a scene in the movie Jungle Fever (1991). Queen Latifah, playing a waitress, at the soul food restaurant Sylvia’s completely ignores Wesley Snipes and Annabella Sciorra who are sitting at a table in her station. Wesley asks if they can place their order, at which point she hurls insults saying, "Go parade your white woman around somewhere else." This sentiment has been echoed in other films including; The Brothers and Waiting to Exhale, ironically enough this ideology is often present in those films written or produced by black film makers.
In these instances one might say, I've proved the myth right...but what's really behind it all?
First off let me begin by saying, personally I have no problem with black men dating white women. I do however; have a problem with those men who generalize women and date based on that generalization. For instance, I've heard black men say they only date white women because they are easy or gullible. On the other hand I've had black men tell me that they don't date black women because we have too much attitude or lack class. Both view points I deem to be insulting. Prefacing this statement with, in my experiences, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that "most" black women, especially from the later generations, do not have a problem issue with black men dating white women.
The problem as I see it is this...
Until the latter part of the 20th century most black women were portrayed as or thought to be mammies; the overweight Aunt Jemima type with prominent "African features," deemed unattractive. Only those closer in appearance to their white counterparts (i.e. Lena Horne, Josephine Baker) were revered in society. White women on the other hand, were viewed as pure, perfect and the prototype of beauty. It's with this philosophy that black women have a problem. Black women are frequently portrayed in a misogynistic manner or regarded as over sexed booty shakers. Unfortunately, we seldom see black women consistently depicted in a positive light. Add to that; accusations of Beyonce being airbrushed a lighter complexion on a magazine cover, Lil Kim severely altering her appearance (blue eyes, thin nose), and countless "most beautiful people" lists excluding the likes of Sanaa Lathan and Angela Bassett. All of these issues, in effect, add to the myth.
It would be absurd of me to think that every black woman shares my sentiments on this topic. That being said, society is foolish to believe that most black women don't. This country's history is largely predicated on race; race and the prejudices surrounding it will ALWAYS play a part in how we view ourselves and each other. All women have their strengths and weaknesses. Who we are in life varies not just by race; but our upbringing, demographics and personal experiences. It is wise to keep these things in mind before assigning a blanket stereotype. My synopsis is that until we stop allowing society to dictate our "ranking" this will remain an issue and topic for debate.
As always thank you for giving audience to my post. I hope that you enjoy what I've written and feel moved to comment.
Be Blessed!
1 comment:
Great Blog Ty!
I use to be one of those black women that did not like to see black men with white women, however I have changed. Love is love. If you happen to fall in love with a person of a different race...who cares? I think that falling in love is so hard that once it happens you should not let the world dictate whether it is acceptable.
Now as far as black men that sterotype black women I believe that they are ignorant. I mean that is just as bad as black women that say all black men are thugs, or womenizers.
Every group has its good and its bad, when you come across the bad you should leave them alone and keep it moving.
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