She's Just Not That Into You

Ladies...we've heard of, seen the movie or read the book, He's Just Not That Into You. However, that was from a male perspective. What about those women who just aren't that into a guy. A few of my friends have had some interesting experiences with men they're "just not that into." I have two points of view on this topic...I'll refer to them as Heads and Tails.



Heads:

You've been tossing around the idea of giving this guy a chance. He professes to be the one, treats you well and may even be willing to drink your bath water. Yet for some reason it just doesn't work. It could be the absence of physical attraction, mental stimulation, or any other shortcomings. More often than not he's oblivious to the fact that each interaction takes serious work on your part and can clearly go way left at any given moment. On the flip side you may have told him that you and he are like ships passing in the night and he still doesn't get it. In the end it simply boils down to you not being interested. Funny enough (I'm guilty of this) we tend to be apologetic when we aren't "into" someone. We blame ourselves for not recognizing a good man and often agonize about not liking this guy. I say, "bull" to that mode of thinking. Really when is the last time you heard a man complain or feel bad about a woman he wasn't into. They chalk it up to lack of chemistry and call it a day. So why can't we do the same? Maybe it's just our caring nature that keeps most of us from being a complete shrew. Either way "the heart wants what the heart wants," so deal with it!


Tails:

In retrospect it seems like some of the men I passed up during my 20s were probably best for me at the time. There was one in particular, that I deemed boring. He was always nice and tried to woo me on several occasions yet, I never wanted anything to do with him. I was going for the more superficial things; i.e. good looks, popularity, body type, etc. I had a standard and was hell bent on sticking to it. Unfortunately that mode of thinking didn't get me far. Had I given Mr. X the time of day, and not the other guy I probably would have saved myself a great deal of heartache. That all being said, I think everyone deserves a chance. If you give it a chance and it doesn't work then at least you tried. To not try at all limits what could have been a good relationship with a guy who isn't so bad after all.



In the end Mr. Right could very well be everything you never knew you always wanted.