In a day where relationships are built more on financial compatibility and less on emotion; my girlfriends and I often question what characteristics are most important. Attraction and chemistry aside; what can we live with and what are the deal breakers? Is it a man's education, status in society, credit score and luxury car that make him the "Total Package," or is it something more substantive?
Let's take a deeper look...
Don't get me wrong that Wharton MBA looks really good on paper. It will open doors to an elite society before the ink completely dries on Mr. TP's degree. The 850 credit score ensures a house in Georgetown and a credit limit that would put the FED to shame. All things considered; what does that really say about the man? That he has good tastes, manages money well or he's an overachiever.
Material things last but so long. When it's all said and done if a man doesn't have a caring spirit, unconditional love and compassion and understanding; he's already lost half the battle. In today's society we're told that bigger is better, excess is accepted and the little things are just that...little. A single rose pales in comparison to a dozen. A dinner at Longhorn just doesn't have the same flair as Morton's. And God forbid you buy jewelry from any other store than Tiffany.
A final thought...
An Electrician can be just as much the "Total Package" as a Banker. It's not your title or status but what you do with what you have to make your life and your partner's better. It simply comes down to character. Will this man have your back all of the time? Will he sacrifice for you to make you happy? When you're feeling down can you count on him for encouragement? Is he a friend as well as partner? Can he make you laugh? Those are the things that matter most.
My Mr. TP isn't 6'2", he's 5'10". He doesn't weigh 200 lbs all muscle, but is 175 with a slim athletic build. He doesn't drive a Mercedes but owns the car he does have. He doesn't go on trips around the world but takes modest vacations. He doesn't know about all of the fashion raves in Paris but looks damn good in a suit. All in all he makes me laugh, loves me unconditionally and keeps me grounded. More importantly he's a man of God...what more could I ask for?!
Until next time be blessed!
Ms. Ty
4 comments:
Interesting points. For each of us Mr. TP looks different on the outside...maybe...but for all of us--we want him to look the same on the inside. But the superficial nature of society requires some commonality before we take that next step. Whether its financial, educational, spiritual, emotion or physical...something brought you together! Its the next steps, the real honest truth about the credit score, the lack of ambition, the "temporary" religious values that make Mr. TP start to look like Mr. ATP (almost total package). I guess you're right though. At the end of the day, my Mr. TP and your Mr. TP may not possess the same qualities, but to us, he should fit the bill!
All great points. What I've learned after dating and now being happily married for 4 years, is that all areas of the package will go through it's dry spots . . .will you be there with patience and a loving heart to make the relationship work. What if when you met, he had that 850 credit score and now it is 640 . . .by the way, what are we bringing to the table. I have found that strong, praying, christian women can inspire alot of things in a man and some things you just have to find peace with and pray for patience. The CHOICE to love is the crucial part of the equation. Also, staying power and consistence is what is important to me. Only time tells that kind of stuff.
agree! too often we get wrapped up in the Glitz and Glam that is publicized on TV, Movies, Social life etc.. and fail to pay attention to the morals and values that kept or parents and grandparents together for decades. The rate of divorce in this day and age is rediculous! Material things are just that material! once the money is gone there is usally nothing left. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wanting an educated partner with goals and asperations but you have to bring something to the table also.
Just my thoughts.
April -
What I thought was my TP turned out to be not a package at all....it was cracked glass in a box! Although, what we look for in our 20's is so much different from what we look for in our 40's, we all still (whether we want to admit it or not) long for that fairy tale "Jason's Lyric" or "Poetic Justice" type dude. the dude that is going to be strong and handsome and go after us and do whatever it is to keep us. I am not sure there are many of us that want the 850 credit score or the MBA as much as we want that Love and Affection of a man that has professed his Love for us to himslelf, Us and his family and friends. Furthermore that dude that can certainly revere in his willpower to be faithful and Loving!
I get so off track when I blog....thanks Ty for allowing me this forum to vent on just how essentially important it is for us as women to be secure in whoever we are and persevere for whatever it is we want!
QueenB-Stephanye
Post a Comment