Saturday, October 16, 2010

Out of Obligation

How many times have we been told that communication is key? It's key on the job, abroad, and within the home. There is no area in our lives that cannot benefit from proper communication. That being said, the dynamic between male and female communication is complex to say the least. Not to say that the roles aren't sometimes reversed; men can be quite abstract in their interpretation of things, while women at times tend to take things for their literal meaning. This brings me to the topic of acting out of obligation.

Obligation~ something by which a person is bound or obliged to do certain things, and which arises out of a sense of duty or results from custom, law, etc.
2. an indebtedness
3. a favor, service, or benefit for which gratitude is due

When speaking about obligation I often think of moral, financial, and career responsibilities.  For instance, you are obligated to provide proper care for your children and to show up to work on time. When looked at from that perspective it makes it hard to view obligation as anything other than something you are required to do.  This viewpoint almost makes obligation seem like a bad word. No one wants to feel like they are being forced to do anything.  In my opinion my fiance does not open the car door out of a sense of indebtedness, it is because he wants to.  You cooking dinner for your boyfriend/husband is not because you owe him a favor.   

Wherein a female may choose another word, men probably view obligation as, "take care of me because you love me" versus "do things because you owe me." My point is that lapses in communication take place all of the time.  Men and women naturally view things differently, however we are obligated in our relationships to keep the line of communication open even when we disagree on the semantics.
 

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