Friday, May 27, 2011

Know Your Role

How many times have you heard the phrase, "know your role," "play your position," or "know your place?"  I would venture to say more times than you can remember.  These are statements that are commonly used in sports, the work environment, and more importantly relationships.  To "know your role" in sports often translates to, you're not the star but the supporting cast.  In this instance you provide back-up and stay out of said star's way.  The same applies to the work environment; (hopefully) you wouldn't  walk into the CFO's office demanding a policy change if you weren't among senior level management.  With all of that said, why do we as women not apply the same mode of thinking to our dealings with men (marriage/relationships)?

First let me start off by saying that I have very traditional views on how marriage should be.  Though I was raised predominantly by my mother and grandmother, the "I don't need a man" attitude never manifested  itself into my person.  I am a strong believer in marriage as it is defined between a man and woman.  Within that definition there are rules (traditionally/biblical) that I feel define the role of each person.  Now, I'm sure some of you out there may think that I am crazy.  Some of you may even view my statements as "setting us back."  However, I believe we (women) in this country fight so hard to be equal to men that we lose a sense of what sets us apart in the first place.  Just because I can take out the trash or lift heavy furniture doesn't mean that I want to.  Our role is to be a helpmate, a support system to the men in our lives.  It is not to berate them or act like their mother, they already have one.  On the flip side I don't believe that a woman should be dismissed as a passive, silent partner either.  The balance lies in "knowing your role." Men, are by design supposed to be the leader of the family.  Women by design are the nurturers.  In most cases when you need to cry it out you go to your mom.  If you need a straight no chaser pep talk, you'd probably go to dad.  I do realize that this isn't always the case, but I believe it was supposed to be that way. 

The point of this isn't to go into religion or the definition of what a family unit should be, but to show that naturally we all have roles.  Whether we choose to recognize them as such is another story.  I do believe that if we all took time to observe the relationship interactions around us we'd see them more clearly.

Yours Truly,
Ms. Ty

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